If I could actually explain myself I would but I really can’t get it all into words. I don’t cry. Almost never. I’m not a crier. My eyes water up sometimes, and I feel sad, but I don’t cry. I find it embarrassing and weak, personally, not on others. I always feel like I have to put on a show, to please everyone, because they wouldn’t be interested in my real emotions. Always happy always happy happy happy. I’m actually numb or sad and filled with copious amounts of self hate most times.
My actual point, I don’t cry and everyone wants me to. Calling me heartless and cold isn’t nice. In fact it hurts a lot. I’m not emotionless. I’m not a robot. I don’t understand why people think that just because I can hide my emotions it’s okay to say hurtful things. It isn’t okay to call me a freak, it isn’t okay to try to make me feel things with your words. I’m only going to shut you out and shut myself in.